i remember the fist sized again today...

i think of when i wrote of it then..!!!

i remember feeling the lump...

i tried gulping it down...

no amount of caffeine could help..

I had to but step out in the open

My feelings not let loose

As my hair had always been.

I wanted this time to be afloat,

not caring of what I left on the shore...

The salt wind grazed past my cheek,

It almost felt like a brush of skin...

The lump maybe disappeared...

But now there was a thump...

regulated by those eyes i see...

Faster and faster it went along..

the guards have long given way...

for I was designed fragile.

My fist couldn't punch that hole,

not that I have ever wanted to...

i have often sat shredding leaves,

fallen and dead...cruel i know

one day i shall pick each

and fill that hole he punched...

those many years ago...

for now the thumping ain't raw,

i can hardly feel it in my chest...

yet every time that music blares..

my blood rushes back into flow...

I know its not dead,

of it I am now fond...

one day, the regular will halt...

and i shall be off the shore..!