Mine

They were never mine.
They were barbarians
They were ancient Romans
They were fanatic fascists
They were the rulers
Where I was the men.
The women I wasn't
For it was written
In the history of counting
Not to go below 10.
I wore a craft
I had learnt it at home
I hid the number 8
I had printed within.
I was beautiful
Those were days of glory
Men ain't beautiful
I was taken to theory.
I was the written
The conquered 4
I was the zenith
Behind that closed door.
I was taken to be a slave
I was beaten even today.
I wrote this on the wall
Please let me go
All I knew was
He would have his go.
Within and without
Over and above
Between the beyond
I knew no love.
I stared in the blackness
Not of the room alone
My insides weep
Every time i close the door.
I was not hiding
I was not scared
I was just insane
For none was fare.
I left the door unlocked
That other night
And as the light put off
I leapt from sight.
I left through a route
Not known by some
I left no tracks
For there was none.

Towards the Bygone

The repressed fear of gratitude
Slowly creeps in
Accredited with solidarity
And the serenity of the kin.
The time of a century
Has moved towards
The need of the throws
Of incalculable love.
The doors to the present
Stood behind the wall
Breeding heroes
And some known trolls.
He lugged and lived
In the time of chivalry
Coy as a cat
His skin was on a tree.
Put out to dry
And hung waist down
She made it impossible
To weave the crown.
The growth around it
Was slowly fading
The green was more
Towards grey bleeding.
She used a red
Against the blue sky
And still the clouds bled,
Bled the earth dry.
The heart then opened
To the one ignored
Thoughts revolving
Around that tiny door.
To pry it open
Each needed a tool
Chosen at random
It refused to brood.
He chose to walk down
The flight of stairs;
He chose to keep
The humming bee.
She fed on the sound
She broke the water bank,
Soon the home flooded
While both sat and drank.

Basking in The Sun 2

     *the customary meaning in form

Basking in the Sun

A piece, which took its time

Elastic, I pulled the ends apart
I spread it very very thin.
It changed its form for me.
Form, I disliked it deeply
I kept pulling the ends apart,
I even pulled at the edge.
Edge, It gave way for me,
I kept pushing and pulling.
I removed bits and pieces.
Pieces, of my life sprinkled
I had to keep picking them
I had to count each one.
One, the number of days
I spend before each sound
Tweaking with a thought.
Thought, I should let it be
Not hover over it like a wasp
I should really set it free.
Free, my spirit feels true
Intact with the past, present
The future stands in fear.
Fear, of love and being loved
A chance stood again
But I still pulled at love.
Love, the elastic I had kept
With me for so very long.
Elastic, that had changed form.

Duality

"Let's get up and go
Let's do something
Put a phone to charge
Read maybe, just do."
Let's just sit around
Let's not move
Put down the pen
Look in the distance.
"Let's walk till there
One step at a time
Let's move so that
We commit no crime."
Let's just simply stare
Into the nothingness
And look within
This incredible mind.
"The mind functions
It is all about the activity
The productivity and
The building dignity."
The mind is slower
Purposefully looking
Knowing every word
And yet searching.
"I refuse to sit around
I refuse to stare
I want to be gone
And I want to care."
I won't move a limb
I won't go around
You are dependent
On my muscle ground.
"I will go,
You then sit around
In that very posture
Under the ground."
Don't threaten me so
You will stick around
You want things done
And I am your chance.
"Chance yes but
Not my source
A medium to take me;
my thoughts through."
Thoughts don't matter
Not as powerful as me
For thoughts are within
The exterior is me.
"The exterior you said;
Does it not explain
For within is the self
Which will not refrain."
I will resist
I will till the last bit
Let my energy drain
Till the edge of the cliff.
"I would not jump
In the name of activity.
Action is not cause
Neither blasphemy."

Reading a random thing never quite works
Sometimes You are given things which do.

Completely out of the context in which the text* was probably written.

After very long taking the liberty of using someone else's text to express.

Probably because I maybe can't put it this way.

Choosing to play with I, Me and Myself.

I explore what is it to be at the center and yet out of the circle.

I feel:

I am scared of the world, but try to conquer it anyway.

I am the crazy girl. Too many insecurities. Too many flaws.

I am the crazy girl because I am an expert
         on the importance of loving myself (theoretically of course).

I know:

I need help and that I am the only one who can give myself that virtue.

I am the crazy girl, but I need not a caretaker.

I am the crazy girl who will listen when thoughts drive into a mind hurricane.

I will:

learn to read emotions because I have mastered that skill on myself.

learn to let the world not fall amiss.

learn to live with and without it all.

I am:

not scared of learning.

not scared of it all leaving.

not obliged to be either.

But of all thing I simply AM

*Couldn't acknowledge source as I found the text by chance.