Borne with guilt

I was born guilty,
So was she,
so was she, she and she
For,
We were borne,
in the age of men
I was born guilty.
My destiny is frozen,
I ignite a flame,
It is extinguished,
I reignite the flame.
For,
I was born guilty.
I was borne by trust.
I was borne with love.
I was born afloat in dust.
I was cloaked with lust.
I was born guilty.
My hands are tied,
My lexicons sealed;
My ambitions rejected,
My needs thrown to destiny.
For,
It was I who were born guilty
For,
It was I who had committed the Sin
For,
It was I who bore you.
Yes,
Of that I am guilty.
Of that,
I was born guilty.

DO i want to be anyone but me?

ask me the question, will I ever not want what has made me who i am...and I would say no...there are so many who would say a yes we assume, but do they?
I am who i am because I was born this way.
"you will never change" is what Often hits me and i wonder do I want to?
i have often dreamt of what i would be or where i could be if i weren't here but trust me...
i would not be happier than now...for what i was gifted with was = is my reality.
i love it
i cant believe i have blamed it for so long...and accepting it today is what makes me happy...
is what makes me smile, not with effort...
how do i explain to the world that "my condition" is not a vice...
its my little boon...my precious
and I would love to keep it the way it is...
the way I am.

Am i allowed to jump off the cliff
the cliff i had dreams of, so often.
the cliff of which the boulder would fall
it would fall right on my leg, my arm.
and i would wake up...
wake up wreathing in pain,
wake up drenched in sweat,
wake up soaked in fear.
hoping i could get my hands on the pain,
the point of pain,
only if it were not for the barrier,
isn't it better to just take the leap.

a wish

a wish is my belief,

i wish i believed in his words,

i wish i gave it another chance,

i wish i believed in solitude.

i wish i could believe...

i only wish,

i believed in my own wish...!!!

Insane??

has anyone seen my sanity?
has anyone looked around?
has anyone informed the ruler?
has anyone stolen the crown?

I have dropped my sanity.
I have left it down-town.
I have sealed the passages.
I have hidden the shroud.

has anyone walked the bridge?
has anyone knocked the pane?
has anyone dared to look?
has anyone seen the rain?

I have now crossed over.
Yes, I drank the rain.
No one was there to see me.
For I was walking in vain.

as the tiny grain of coffee tries to remain afloat
i stare...
rather i stir...
not just stare...
for the drowning of this grain...
is my depression free life...
or as wiki says...
with lower suicidal risk!!!!!!!

a legal drug...
mass produced all over the world...
consumers in zillions...
and i but a bait...
to the commercialization...
of this big fish producing and selling...
of the buying and auctioning...
and i say...
i am not an addict...!!!!!

bitter, white crystalline alkaloid,
doesn't mean much does it...
for I have always known it...
either in green or brown...
a family which wakes up to the smell of it...
a nation that thrives...
a 2 rupee cutting...
a drug in an honest disguise.!!!

of all days now i am bothered...
tomorrow i wont care...
as i sip down the last bit of my coffee...
i just think...
use my produced increased wakefulness...
(again as wiki says...)
and realise...

it is but like the profession...
which sells...
for far more than
its worth ever was..!!!!!

Just be...

They say I am like you,
But do they not see...
It is I trying to be...
just be...
I never thought of growing...
Never imagined to be gone...
To have a life disconnected...
To be love and loved.
Brace distances and voids..!!!
But now I am grown...
Still growing to be...
Just be...!!!
But my heart still resides...
On the other side of the void...
Wishing and hoping...!!!
To be loved by you...
And to be what I was...
Just be...!!!