as the tiny grain of coffee tries to remain afloat
i stare...
rather i stir...
not just stare...
for the drowning of this grain...
is my depression free life...
or as wiki says...
with lower suicidal risk!!!!!!!

a legal drug...
mass produced all over the world...
consumers in zillions...
and i but a bait...
to the commercialization...
of this big fish producing and selling...
of the buying and auctioning...
and i say...
i am not an addict...!!!!!

bitter, white crystalline alkaloid,
doesn't mean much does it...
for I have always known it...
either in green or brown...
a family which wakes up to the smell of it...
a nation that thrives...
a 2 rupee cutting...
a drug in an honest disguise.!!!

of all days now i am bothered...
tomorrow i wont care...
as i sip down the last bit of my coffee...
i just think...
use my produced increased wakefulness...
(again as wiki says...)
and realise...

it is but like the profession...
which sells...
for far more than
its worth ever was..!!!!!

Just be...

They say I am like you,
But do they not see...
It is I trying to be...
just be...
I never thought of growing...
Never imagined to be gone...
To have a life disconnected...
To be love and loved.
Brace distances and voids..!!!
But now I am grown...
Still growing to be...
Just be...!!!
But my heart still resides...
On the other side of the void...
Wishing and hoping...!!!
To be loved by you...
And to be what I was...
Just be...!!!

The begone

Ah the slight breeze flew past my ear and whispered by...
the Leaf that floated down seemed to have frozen mid air...
It whispered to me the story of the sky,
Who had lent it the power of sweetness and of love;
Who had pierced her existence with pity and shame;
leaving her abandoned and tame...
The fury which in her grew...
Out of simple might it stirred...
Her love was valiant and so was her mirth.
Her wrath was fearful and so was her dearth.
It was the desire which in her grew...
The shrewd mind and comely form;
It drew the bold and the strong,
It called the tiny and the young,
It tamed the lovers and the crowd,
The milieu whirled round and round...
And then they called her the storm...
Not knowing it was the pleasant gush
the delicate her; that had once begone...!!!

His eyes longed to graze...

for his actions had sown the seeds...

and his words, now reaped...!

Would I have known?

I wouldn't have known what is behind the mountain,
                                      were I not perched on that shoulder.
I wouldn't have known what is to forgo fear,
                                      were I not clinging on to that firm finger.
I wouldn't have known what is to fly,
                                      were I not hurled into the air.
I wouldn't have known what is it to trust,
                                      were I not sure I would never fall,
                                      with him there.

I wouldn't have known what is dawn,
                                      were I not curled into those arms.
I wouldn't have known what is the colour blue,
                                      were I not looking through those eyes.
I wouldn't have known what is fair,
                                      were I not winning without my share.
I wouldn't have known what is life,
                                      were I not walking the roof slopes,
                                      with him I could dare.

I wouldn't have known what is real,
                                      were I not sitting right by his side.
I wouldn't have know what is savoury,
                                      were I not spoilt with every delight.
I wouldn't have know what is serene,
                                      were I not writing this tonight.
I wouldn't have know what is chime,
                                      were I not thinking of his happy voice,
           responding to my "Happy 76th Birthday" with delight.

they came

they did come, some time ago.

now i know they hav flown away and yet they remain...

20

·        1991
one nose
2 blue eyes
10 toes
1 smile and
3 blinks

·        2011
1 anklet
2 rings
a zillion clothes
one ipod
20 tampons
5 painted nails

·        1999
1 mother
2 siblings
a new father
7 pieces of the heart
and 8 were my wings

·        2009
1 crack
264 bones
32 teeth
20 nails
2 ear drums
14 ribs
1 uterus

·        2010
one ambition
2 loves
½ a bear hug
14 kisses
1 truth
a single break

·        1996
1 doll
many toys
7 colored blankets
a cuddled body
2 drawers and sliding doors

·        2004
a trusted friend
15% jealousy
4 prizes
20+1 photographs
14 stares

·        2007
1 room
4 corners
18 books
a hidden novel
3 hours of sleep
10 sarcastic voices

·        1992
2 knees
2 parents
1 3 wheeled cycle
4 breaks
3 memories
1 fear

·        2002
20 humiliations
1/4^th encouragement
0 smiles
2 chocolates
1 skirt
The very 1^st heels

·        1994
1^st school
2 kms.
1 parent
2 grandparents
many friends
3 Barbies
a caring thought
6 new locks
Lost keys.